Life...is steamrolling over me!!

This year is blowing by me, my baby turned nineteen, shes doing well in school, and Kerri made me a grannie, Brianna is beautiful!

Me and Kerri Ann last saturday at her baby shower, looks like we're gonna be grandparents~

For Carmela

DIVORCE

Soak in the beauty so the ugliness
doesnt stain you

New Beginnings

Its finally spring, even though we have a freeze warning for tonight,im excited about the new growth and new starts happening in my world...I start a new job on monday in a new field,and am so psyched to have a new career that i feel will really make a difference in someones life! Im praising God and am trying to savor every minute of this holy week!

State Boards

Whew, its over and i feel like a ton of bricks has been lifted from my shoulders.... "performance anxiety", "panic attacks", "stress disorder","does not do well under pressure"....whatever you want to call it, Ive got it,... and more than my share! All my life I've buckled and run from whatever it is that happens to me when i am forced to face a situation that causes this overwhelming fear to rise up in me, choking me...paralyzing me. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I couldn't talk...and could not find a way to still the roaring, racing manic mind that takes over in those situations. In my younger days id run away, get drunk or anesthetize the demon with whatever would work. This time i had to feel him and face him , i knew it was just too important...key to my future, to my freedom...not that being a nurses assistant is all that important or even what i really want to do, but that the doing it was key...doing it afraid and trusting the Hand that holds me, that has always been there. And so I did and I stand ready to face the next hurdle...ready,set go!

Green Grass

Grass
Tonights moon is full and i am restless already...wondering, wandering, about the grass on the other side...I keep saying "How did I get here, to this point... to this place..." but I know, and I feel really sorry for myself! Choices made are'nt as easy to erase as the beard Erica is cutting from Calvins face...Everything matters now way too much...

To be or not to be??????

Well I have two weeks of clinicals left and ill be a nursing assistant,,, provided I pass the state boards!Still not sure if its what i want to do but,...

My Birthday Poem from Tammy

A Birthday Poem Just for You

So your day didn’t go the way you planned
However God was with you, holding your hand
Guiding you to where you should have been
Even if on a treadmill, taking a spin
Surrounded by strangers as it would appear
I feel they were angels that helped you my dear
It may seem selfish but I am glad you were there
God has many ways of answering our prayer
For had you traveled, it could have been more stress
So God had another plan, to ensure your rest
So thank him as I have; in your prayers today
For allowing you to stay with us, although ruining your birthday
We will plan to get healthier, without much cheer
And you’ll have a wonderful birthday next time, cause you’ll still be here.
For a Birthday is any day in which we're still kicking
Cant have a birthday if the ole heart isnt ticking.
So just for now, close your eyes and wish what you may
May all your wishes come true, have a Happy Birthday.

My animal babies...